COVID-19 Hit Pause

COVID-19 has certainly steamrolled our lives. The loss of so many lives and the unknowns about this virus, leaves COVID-19 looming over our world like an angry thundercloud. I still feel as though I will wake up and discover this was all a bad dream.

It astounds me the way COVID-19 abruptly stopped everyday life. The virus hit pause.

My heart goes out to my fellow friends and classmates of the 2020 graduating class. The round of “lasts” that we were counting on was ripped from us so suddenly. In a heartbeat we were leaving our dorms, houses or apartments for an early spring break.

When we first got the email from Hofstra saying we had an extended Spring break, while many of my peers celebrated some extra leisure time, I felt in my gut that times were about to change. I desperately wanted to stay optimistic, but the feeling would not go away.

The email about permanent online classes crushed my spirit. I would not be returning to finish my senior year on Hofstra’s campus. It didn’t feel real.

We counted on the last day of classes, the last night in our dorm rooms and graduation ceremonies to give us the proper opportunity to say goodbye to the universities we chose four years ago.

When one considers the fatalities, I am grateful my family is safe and healthy. That after all is most important. However, when this virus fiercely hit, it broke my heart. I was at a point in my life where everything was clicking perfectly, allowing me to end my senior year the way I had hoped.

I had secured a great internship, my second one with NBC. I was enjoying finishing up my classes, acting as Vice President of Danceworks Productions and choreographing a piece for our Spring show! In addition, I was rehearsing in other numbers where I had opportunities to dance with friends and share special moments with other senior dancers, all while still training as a Rockette Hopeful.

We all had philanthropy events, formals and graduation to look forward to. I was looking at the future with enthusiasm and hope, starting to prepare myself for the next chapter of my life. There are no words when everything just comes to a stop.

Needless to say, while in quarantine I am looking through teary eyes at all the memories lost due to COVID-19. No Spring Danceworks Show is the most crushing, right now. We have all worked so hard and still had over a month of rehearsals to go.

Since, freshman year I had wanted to choreograph, and I finally did! The friendships, the dancing, all ending so quickly, with so much left to do. It was devastating.

We were supposed to have our Senior Show, our one last time together on the Adams Playhouse stage. It was our turn. Since freshman year we knew one day it would be our turn and just like that it was taken away. So, while some wounds don’t bleed, they can hurt just as much. 

While I have no choice but to accept our current new normal, I wish things were different. Days are now consumed with Zoom lectures and meetings, Rockette Hopeful Dance training online and the painful calendar alerts, reminding me of all the stolen moments that I can’t get back.

We could get lost in hopelessness, but we need to fight from sinking into despair. So, I challenge you all. Get out of the pajamas, exercise, read, and spend time being with family and friends, even if it is through FaceTime.

I have accepted that being angry is okay, but don’t give into bitterness. We can feel sadness, but don’t become hopeless. We can be frightened, but don’t feel helpless. It’s a painful waiting game, but we will come back stronger. 

Instagram: @danceworkshu

Danceworks Photos: Jamie Johnson